“You’re grumpy today.” Not a statement you ever want to hear, but this was a statement that was recently made to me on a particularly challenging day. And this is exactly the type of statement that should make a good leader step back and evaluate the current state of things. Why? Because attitudes are contagious.
No doubt you’ve heard of someone having an infectious smile or personality. But have you spent much time truly thinking about the implications of that? What it really means: individuals have an ability to affect the way that others feel, simply by giving a smile or the way they act. And in many ways, this is common sense. But how do we use this knowledge to make ourselves better leaders?
The first step is to recognize this phenomenon and understand the power that emotions and actions can have. They can inspire us to be part of something bigger than ourselves, or they can destroy motivation and team dynamic. And as such, owning emotions and being a positive force can be a powerful tool in the leaders toolbox.
After I made my first professional move, I was visited by one of mentors. I was speaking to him on the phone, as he was preparing to leave his hotel to come pick me up to grab some dinner. He was asking for directions from the front desk, so that he could go meet his “friend.” I remember this moment vividly, and to this day I would be unable to put words to what this truly meant to me. This was someone I had looked up to during my career, and he just described me as a friend. It was a small gesture that he didn’t even realize he did, or the impact that it had. Check out Drew Dudley’s TEDx Talk where he describes these types of Lollipop Moments.
With such power in our smallest gestures, think of the good that could be done! And yet, it is much easier to demotivate a motivated team member than it is to motivate an unmotivated one. Too often when I speak with colleagues, it is the same type of small gesture that has had the opposite effect. Something small, and often innocuous by the sender, that brings down and kills the motivation of the receiver.
Does that mean we should live our lives in constant fear of hurting others feelings? Walking on egg shells with every interaction? Absolutely not? What does it mean? For starters, it means we should be aware. The old adage is that sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me, isn’t accurate. Words have power, and we should use this power wisely. Ask yourself, is what I am about to say going to convey the true intent of my message? Too often we are too quick to speak, when it is best to be quick to listen, and slow to respond.
And if we circle back to the gracious highlighting of my grumpy mood. I can attest, I knew the day was challenging, but I didn’t “feel” like I was acting any differently. The take home lesson was that on challenging days, I need to “measure twice, cut once” when it comes to my words and actions. Because those actions affect everyone on the team.
Today’s prescription: I will be aware of my attitude, and I will convey the positive support that I want to see in my team. Because attitudes are infectious.
The Leadership Prescription 